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Monday, August 29, 2011

How to Deal With Loneliness

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Philippians 4:8

A few years ago, the Rev. Billy Graham in one of his sermons
said that loneliness was epidemic in America. Since that time,
I believe with all my heart this problem has gotten far worse.

What are the causes of such a transformation in society?

One of the main reasons is busy lives. People are overbooked,
from their career, activities with children, responsibilities
and family. They barely have time for necessities, much less
reaching out to others. This also means that they have
less tolerance for things that others are going through, they
just don't have the time or emotional resources to deal with it.
It is just too much for them.

Also past hurts in relationships and unresolved situations
can really hold people back from reaching out to others. It
binds them to the past and to those hurts, like a umbilical cord
of pain. They cannot let go, and therefore cannot move on
or enjoy new and healthy relationships, because the old
ones are haunting them. Forgiveness is the solution to this.

Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead
Philippians 3:13


One of the best solutions to loneliness is finding places
to go and things to do. Find activities that you enjoy and
get in groups that do those. There are many free
activity groups out there, and even self help groups
that can fill your time far more productively.

Get in a good church that teaches God's word, and has
a good outreach to people. Find things that they need help
with and volunteer. Very few people do this now. It is needful.
Take time to make relationships there, and even if people
are not as friendly as you would like, you be friendly, be
a example of outreach and compassion. Watch what
a transforming thing it is!

Find places that you know where there are needs and reach out
you will find it helps you forget your own trials for a while
and makes you feel so good inside, because you know
you are making a difference. Everyone has something
they can do today, but you have to make the effort.

For people like me who have physical issues and are homebound
it is a little more challenging. Like you, I have many ups and downs.
Days where I feel inspired and hopeful and days where things
get to me. But I have learned that I cannot meditate and
dwell on things that weigh me down. It is overwhelming. I find
things to do each day. I set goals for each day and get them done.
I also spend my time praying for others a lot. It is something
I know I can do to make a difference, and I have seen many
answers to prayer because of God's powerful mercy, grace
and love for us.

We can choose to meditate on our troubles and trials and
feed them breakfast, lunch and dinner by constantly entertaining them.
Or we can choose to realize we cannot solve them and dwell on
what we can get done, and what we do have, and entertain
good and hopeful and positive thoughts through reading
the word of God and cleaning our mind of all that is not
productive or good.

Being content is a very vital thing in this life. There is
always someone worse off, or going through more, or dealing with
much more than you can imagine. Don't let your own issues
hold you back from being a listener to those in need, and
taking time to pray for them. This is the essence of life, the
human bonding that brings us together and makes
life so much more worthwhile on a daily basis.

Look around you, see what you have and be grateful.
Take time to tell people you are thankful for them.
Take time to love someone each day.
Be content. Be inspired. Life is short, don't fritter
it away on discontentment and anger or sadness.
Change your mindset. There is still time left, it is a new day.

Even if no one else is there for you today. God is.
Savor it, talk to him, and tell him everything in your heart.
He will open new doors, bring solutions, and help you
find friends. But to make a friend, one must reach out
and be friendly. Above all, avoid pity parties, they are
no fun to go to, and they make you more lonely than ever.

One day at a time my friend. Hope springs eternal,
and God's mercies are new every morning. Make sure
each morning your mind is renewed and your heart
refreshed. Face the new day with new strength and hope.

Bottom line is, do you want to stay the same as you are now,
or change things and find more peace within, and contentment?

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
Deuteronomy 31:8

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